rens_sanctuary: (Default)
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rens_sanctuary: (9 hrs What to do?)
If you could take5minutes to answer these questions, and let me know how I'm doing as a friend, I'd appreciate it! 

  • Why does this friend think you rock? 
  • What’s your unique brand of sparkliness? 
  • What does s/he/they admire about who you are and how you show up in the world?
rens_sanctuary: (Dalek: Destroyer of the Universe)
Originally posted from: my tumblr.

Gaslighting is, from Wikipedia, "a form of mental abuse in which information is twisted or spun, selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity."

I was during a job experience from North Carolina at a resort I worked in for the summer. It was 12 years ago. I was 21. I was making $5.85 from which they deducted housing and food expenses. So it was like $3.85.

My family is from, and still lives, in Missouri. I made no friends while working there. I was young, isolated, and alone.

This 37-year-old guy started talking to me. He was my supervisor. He made me feel special. I had never been in a relationship because figuring out the sex part was something I didn’t want to do. I was naïve.

I should have known something was up when he told me beforehand, "Don't tell anyone.”

The incident occurred after work one day. It started innocently enough. He was taller than me and kept kissing my upper lip. Just my upper lip because of the height difference. He untucked my shirt and tried to remove my bra. I somehow indicated that I didn’t want that. He said, “I’m not going to hurt you.” I left.

Immediately afterwar, I told another supervisor about this. She told me he was married and had a baby. His wife was in Sri Lanka. She said my body must have wanted it. It must have been turned on.

I’m a lesbian. No such thing happened. It was more, “What the fuck?!” than anything else.

A few weeks later, I told a member of HR. She made me go over everything that led up to the incident with her and later with two male HR staff and her. Where they said I invited this. Then I had to listen to a talk about how one of the male members above met and married his wife at the resort. Who, at the time, was assigned under him. She had to be reassigned. Then they told me I had to decide whether to press charges against him.

I opted not to. I wanted nothing more than to be invisible, to get through the rest of my summer and leave. This was my worst nightmare and I was terrified of it becoming public and being spread among my co-workers.

They told me either he or I needed to leave. The HR staff made it clear that the 37-year-old guy had worked there for a bejillion years and this was the first they were hearing about this.

The thing is, working there is a right of passage on my Dad’s side. Three out of four of my aunts worked there in college. My cousin is marrying a Turkish guy she met there next year or so. The place is still open. He still works there.

I never told my parents any of this. Just my sister, to warn her against working there.

Gaslighting is a tricksy, sneaky, deceitful thing. Please share. This can happen to anyone at anytime for any reason. I’m open to talk more about it. Email me: emmapowns AT gmail DOT com.
rens_sanctuary: (Ding When There's Stuff)
Professor Michael Strmiska is researching political attitudes among American Pagans and has created two brief surveys. You'revinvited to take one of them if appropriate:

If you follow an Asatru or related path, take this survey:

If you follow a Pagan path such as Wicca or Druidism, take this survey:
rens_sanctuary: (Default)
WARNING: Serial Stalker. This link contains stalking, eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, race fetishisation, and sexual content.  If you are not allergic, or otherwise squeamish to these issues then read on!

My apologizes to those who may be Sam's Cafe followers/Already-Know-About-This.
rens_sanctuary: (Ding When There's Stuff)
I have two Susan Woldman decks for the taking if anyone wants them. Priority will be to those on the friends-list first. It won't be at any cost to you at all. They are both like new decks though, rarely used.

One of them is the Contemplation Card Deck valued at $14.95 new.

The other deck is the Relationship Card Deck valued at $14.95 new.

First come; first served. The date of this post is July 2, 2010.

Email me your address if interested. My address is: mme.femme AT gmail.
rens_sanctuary: (Default)
So I finally went into all of my emails and beleated all the folders of past relationships I had with people from the intrawebs.  Later today, as in when i am done with this post, i will go back into the 4, count them 4!, emails and beleat the actual addresses of these people.  because emails have no love, no really, they don't.

See previous post on love. :)
rens_sanctuary: (Ding When There's Stuff)
Hello LJ!

I come bearing...nothing. Except hard work and a shiny website of my very own: Go forth and witness my mad descriptors for the tarot cards! So far, I have the Major Arcana DONE and am working on the Minor Arcana. I'm feelin' five kinds of savvy right now!

In other news, teh boy and I took K. our UU friend to see New Moon and I was not impressed by it. I liked it, it was cool and shiny, but not impressed. Oh well, at least I have a new friend who likes Sci-Fi!
rens_sanctuary: (Ding When There's Stuff)
So I just performed a friends' cut to my LJ list. I'm sorry if you felt you were cut indirectly, but I NEED to be connected to my friends and you were cut because we aren't connected. I hope it goes well for you and blessings on your way!

In other news, i think i found a "home" at the UU in Columbia. I met K. who was working on her Ph.D. in Communications and doing her discertation on Murphy Brown. For realz. She told me about v, airing Nov 3 on ABC. My kinda gal!

Still not dea. :)
rens_sanctuary: (Default)
In news of no import, I'm still unemployed and hiting the online reading platform hard. I'm looking to the next big town for work and even applying for some I'd normally pass on. Anyway, tips and ideas for making it are welcomed, as well as any employment tips. Lastly, if you know someone who is interested in getting a reading done this is my link: and I'm asking 1.05/minute.

Disclaimer: I'm not pushing my site to spam any of you, I'm just trying to get by here. if that offends, sorry.
rens_sanctuary: (Turn You)
I really don't know where to start, teh boy was here for 12 days. By far the longest visit ever. He makes a good care giver. But we had issues, or rather, he had issues with my treatment of him. I had no clue we even had issues, as is typical of my guy-brain self. We had the same conversation four times in one evening and I wanted to blow my brains out b/c there was only so much harping on one topic I can take. We resolved it, gods alone know how, and we're still together. I remain as Hopelessly Clueless as ever. I really should write a book about all this crazy talk.

The cousin refuses to see us still. Even though she's spoken to me and to teh boy seperately and knows he's Good People...whatever. I'm not stressed about it any. He's mah boy-o.
rens_sanctuary: (Default)
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Gotten my skeptical b/f into HP via movie #6. And then seeing his town and some pretty water! Namely a lake donated to the city and a spring on a reserve. :)
rens_sanctuary: (Default)
1. Anyone who looks at this entry has to can post this meme and their current wallpaper at their LiveJournal.

2. Explain in five sentences why you're using that wallpaper:

1. It's Remus/Sirius.
2. It's by Ponderosa121 from IJ
3. It's yaoi.
4. It's just hot enough
5. It's shiny!

3. Don't change your wallpaper before doing this! The point is to see what you had on
rens_sanctuary: (Scarecrow Go Both Ways)
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Just one? I'd want Kamela, my cousin, to get over her issues with Jon. He's my boy/manfriend and we're happy. I don't care that she thinks he's changing me into some weak-minded version of myself. It's not true. Really. I don't get what her issue is with him. I'm not here to let her babysit me through life. If I'm wrong about him, and I know I'm not, I'll have learned how to detect scum like him in the future. I'm not gonna take action to fix it. Her f---ing issue not mine.

It's insane that we're having this issue and have only been dating a month. Lovely.
rens_sanctuary: (God Speaks)
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Yes I have, well the same nickname and last name. And she's like my 10th cousin, so that doesn't count. AND, I got her anniversary flowers too! Yay!
rens_sanctuary: (Default)
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Movies: Star Wars

TV: Farscape, Stargate SG1, and Stargate Atlantis

John Crichton Jack O'Neill and Rodney McKay! All the snarky side references a gal could want! Also: Ben Browder and Claudia Black of Frascape joined Stargate SG1 in its' 9 season! Prompting fans to call it Starscape or Fargate. :)
rens_sanctuary: (Ding When There's Stuff)
DeLorean hits the TARDIS T-shirt I LOVE how the DeLorean is all banged up and the TARDIS barely has a ding...HAHA!
rens_sanctuary: (Ding When There's Stuff)
I've known you since the womb,
And you're still a mystery to me.
So very close and yet oceans
Of time and space apart from
Each other. If once, I knew
How to open at the close,
I've forgotten now. Still
I remain hopefully aware
That one day, we will have
No secrets. United.
As we were always meant to be.
All mysteries unraveled.
And together, as in the womb, once more.

A/N: Composed in 13 minutes flat.

ETA: Added punctuation marks, which I forgot.

And the word, "as" before "in the womb". Unsure as to which version, w/ or w/out the "as", I like more.


rens_sanctuary: (Default)
The Lady of Time

October 2015

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