rens_sanctuary: (9 hrs What to do?)
If you could take5minutes to answer these questions, and let me know how I'm doing as a friend, I'd appreciate it! 

  • Why does this friend think you rock? 
  • What’s your unique brand of sparkliness? 
  • What does s/he/they admire about who you are and how you show up in the world?
rens_sanctuary: (Dalek: Destroyer of the Universe)
Originally posted from: my tumblr.

Gaslighting is, from Wikipedia, "a form of mental abuse in which information is twisted or spun, selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity."

I was during a job experience from North Carolina at a resort I worked in for the summer. It was 12 years ago. I was 21. I was making $5.85 from which they deducted housing and food expenses. So it was like $3.85.

My family is from, and still lives, in Missouri. I made no friends while working there. I was young, isolated, and alone.

This 37-year-old guy started talking to me. He was my supervisor. He made me feel special. I had never been in a relationship because figuring out the sex part was something I didn’t want to do. I was naïve.

I should have known something was up when he told me beforehand, "Don't tell anyone.”

The incident occurred after work one day. It started innocently enough. He was taller than me and kept kissing my upper lip. Just my upper lip because of the height difference. He untucked my shirt and tried to remove my bra. I somehow indicated that I didn’t want that. He said, “I’m not going to hurt you.” I left.

Immediately afterwar, I told another supervisor about this. She told me he was married and had a baby. His wife was in Sri Lanka. She said my body must have wanted it. It must have been turned on.

I’m a lesbian. No such thing happened. It was more, “What the fuck?!” than anything else.

A few weeks later, I told a member of HR. She made me go over everything that led up to the incident with her and later with two male HR staff and her. Where they said I invited this. Then I had to listen to a talk about how one of the male members above met and married his wife at the resort. Who, at the time, was assigned under him. She had to be reassigned. Then they told me I had to decide whether to press charges against him.

I opted not to. I wanted nothing more than to be invisible, to get through the rest of my summer and leave. This was my worst nightmare and I was terrified of it becoming public and being spread among my co-workers.

They told me either he or I needed to leave. The HR staff made it clear that the 37-year-old guy had worked there for a bejillion years and this was the first they were hearing about this.

The thing is, working there is a right of passage on my Dad’s side. Three out of four of my aunts worked there in college. My cousin is marrying a Turkish guy she met there next year or so. The place is still open. He still works there.

I never told my parents any of this. Just my sister, to warn her against working there.

Gaslighting is a tricksy, sneaky, deceitful thing. Please share. This can happen to anyone at anytime for any reason. I’m open to talk more about it. Email me: emmapowns AT gmail DOT com.
rens_sanctuary: (Ding When There's Stuff)
Professor Michael Strmiska is researching political attitudes among American Pagans and has created two brief surveys. You'revinvited to take one of them if appropriate:

If you follow an Asatru or related path, take this survey:
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/D59Z6VM

If you follow a Pagan path such as Wicca or Druidism, take this survey:
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/JQ6JGLR
rens_sanctuary: (Default)
WARNING: Serial Stalker. This link contains stalking, eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, race fetishisation, and sexual content.  If you are not allergic, or otherwise squeamish to these issues then read on!

My apologizes to those who may be Sam's Cafe followers/Already-Know-About-This.
rens_sanctuary: (Ding When There's Stuff)
So I just performed a friends' cut to my LJ list. I'm sorry if you felt you were cut indirectly, but I NEED to be connected to my friends and you were cut because we aren't connected. I hope it goes well for you and blessings on your way!

In other news, i think i found a "home" at the UU in Columbia. I met K. who was working on her Ph.D. in Communications and doing her discertation on Murphy Brown. For realz. She told me about v, airing Nov 3 on ABC. My kinda gal!

Still not dea. :)
rens_sanctuary: (Turn You)
I really don't know where to start, teh boy was here for 12 days. By far the longest visit ever. He makes a good care giver. But we had issues, or rather, he had issues with my treatment of him. I had no clue we even had issues, as is typical of my guy-brain self. We had the same conversation four times in one evening and I wanted to blow my brains out b/c there was only so much harping on one topic I can take. We resolved it, gods alone know how, and we're still together. I remain as Hopelessly Clueless as ever. I really should write a book about all this crazy talk.

The cousin refuses to see us still. Even though she's spoken to me and to teh boy seperately and knows he's Good People...whatever. I'm not stressed about it any. He's mah boy-o.
rens_sanctuary: (Ding When There's Stuff)
I've known you since the womb,
And you're still a mystery to me.
So very close and yet oceans
Of time and space apart from
Each other. If once, I knew
How to open at the close,
I've forgotten now. Still
I remain hopefully aware
That one day, we will have
No secrets. United.
As we were always meant to be.
All mysteries unraveled.
And together, as in the womb, once more.

A/N: Composed in 13 minutes flat.

ETA: Added punctuation marks, which I forgot.

And the word, "as" before "in the womb". Unsure as to which version, w/ or w/out the "as", I like more.
rens_sanctuary: (Default)
[Error: unknown template qotd]

Me vs. The World by Halo Friendlies from the Freaky Friday movie soundtrack. Best summed up as "It's me against the world and the world is winning."
rens_sanctuary: (Ding When There's Stuff)
Just in case you were curious, I finally got my license on try number 3 yesterday. I return you to your regularly scheduled intraweb.
rens_sanctuary: (My Genius)
So, Mom and I went to see this, http://www.stlouis.art.museum/napoleon/Exhibition_Details.htm toady was the last day, and all I did was check the Roman god and beast references for accuracy. One question, flist, Bees: symbol of immortality?
rens_sanctuary: (Sam/Dean: Miles Apart)
You ALL need to be watching Supernatural when S3 picks up on Oct. 4, b/c seriously...those brothers are hot!

-points at icon.-

That is all!

PS: Not dead! And found way to make money! Still want journal provider shot.
rens_sanctuary: (My Genius!)
You too can see what I look and sound like!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWcwyKEDyhU
rens_sanctuary: (Default)
This entry addresses the right to worship OR NOT. What follows are my personal experiences and opinions which I welcome you to disagree with.

There are many places in the United States where you can be a Buddhist, a Pagan, an Agnostic, even a Zoroastrian and people will accept you. These places are most likely to be on either the east or west coast. For those of us who are not lucky enough to reside in either of those locations, finding others who believe as we do is difficult. Factor in familial pressure, and it can make life very stressful indeed.

I did not ask to forgo my Roman Catholic upbringing. I knew I did not think, as is required by the Roman Catholic Church, that the bread and wine ACTUALLY became the body and blood of Jesus Christ when the priest consecrates these items, in a process called the Eucharist. It took me several years to realize I did not have to simply go through the motions, I could actually reject this theology in favor of Agnosticism. Oh I tried to be Christian, but I found that I did not believe Jesus Christ actually lived; he was a story I was told, and yes he could do some really cool and amazing things, but that was as far as it went. A piece of bread is a piece of bread to me, and does not become something it is not even after being prayed upon. In short, I was simply too logical to believe things that no longer added up to me.

Despite all of this, I still believe there is something out there. I cannot classify it; nor do I want to try. But it is there perhaps interacting, but certainly watching us. Whatever it is, it does not come with instructions, rules, or accepted behaviors attached. Why should there be anymore rules than there already are, anyway? Just for some God to control how I act? To me, that makes as much sense as what I was told when I was younger, "Because I'm the mother and I said so." And what happens when I grow up? What happens when that no longer holds any merit?
rens_sanctuary: (9hrs What to do?)
I have chosen this topic:

Respect for ALL (based on love, not sexual orientation).

First, I'd like to say that these are my experiences, and they are my personal opinions. So you are free to disagree, I give you permission or whatever.

Life itself is hard. There's the birth itself, which may go off without a hitch, or it may not. One could end up fighting for life at three months premature and spend the next three months in the hospital. There's also anything and everything that can happen during one's life. People get in accidents, grandparents and parents die a natural death of old age, unemployment, raising children, not to mention simply living with another person and the sort of disagreements that can bring. For example, does the toilet paper roll get inserted so that it is over or under?

Stress happens, even in the least stressful situations. Why would one choose to add to that stress by discrediting a family member's experiences and feelings because that person is homosexual or bisexual? It is often not a just "a phrase you're going through." Most likely the person in question has given this issue careful thought and come to the logical conclusion that this is a part of who the person is. It is not against God, unnatural and the person cannot "beat these feelings". It is who she is.

Let us not forget that once upon a time, and even more recently than we would like to admit, children who were left-handed were taught to write with their right hands. When I was 18, I had a roommate who was 25. She and her older brother were both made to use their right hands to write. However, we have gotten past that foul notion that left-handed people are of the devil. I hope that we will see the time when homosexuals, bisexuals and those of other alternative sexualities, are truly accepted for who they are.
rens_sanctuary: (Don Muahaha)
There are no real guidelines to this. The idea is to post at least once from Friday to Sunday Easter Weekend, April 6-8.

The post will be against theocracy, in favor of our Constitutional guarantee of separation of church and state. But there are a LOT of issues tied to this, as is pointed out in the First Freedom First website:

No religious discrimination.
PRO End-of-Life Care (no more Terri Schiavo travesties)
Reproductive health decisions made by individuals, not religious "majorities"
Democracy not Theocracy
Academic Integrity (like, a rock is as old as it is, not as old as the Bible says)
Sound Science (good bye so-called "intelligent" design)
Respect for ALL families (based on love, not sexual orientation. Hellooooo.)
And finally,
The right to worship, OR NOT.

So take your pick and write your post(s). Really, the wider variety of topics makes it all the more interesting.

When you've posted, email the url of your post to bluegalsblog AT gmail DOT com.
rens_sanctuary: (9hrs What to do?)
Passport? Check! (97.00)

Tickets? Check! (408.10)

Being free of this country? Priceless!


I am STILL very clueless about everything. And Mom is decidely Not Helping by Helping Too Much. But by Oct. 2, I'll be English! (Well, live in England...)
rens_sanctuary: (9hrs What to do?)
I want to move to the UK. This requires a passport and possibly a Visa (for a permanent-type stay), as well as work permit (provided by the employer). Anybody know any ways around getting a work permit, or a way to get a passport without having a returning date? Or anything really that would make this process simpler, and easier and cheaper for me?

Shot in the dark, I know, but I figure you guys know someone who knows someone at least.

So, hit me up ith the info, thanks!

Also I have not looked into airfare prices and info on doing that online, like the ability to use a Debit for a Credit Card plus cheap flights would be helpful as well.

Again, thanks!
rens_sanctuary: (Default)
Instead of griping about my mom's pitiful and painful attempt to understand what I believe, I'm taking bets!

[Poll #772109]

Profile

rens_sanctuary: (Default)
The Lady of Time

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